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54.Doctor: I have some bad news. The test results are in. You have 24 hours to live. I have some even worse news. Patient: What is worse than that? Doctor: I have been trying to call you since yesterday.
If you thought these doctor jokes and doctor puns were funny, let us know and share them with your friends! We had a great time working on this list and even enjoyed many of the ones that didn’t make the cut.
Also, if you have any doctor jokes of your own that you think we should consider, don’t be shy! Send them over and if we think they’re funny too, we’ll add them to the list above.
After a long, stressful day of practicing medicine, there’s nothing like some good doctor jokes to tickle your funny bone. Use this list of doctor jokes to find humorous puns, stories, and one-liners to share with your loved ones in the medical field. Quote a one-liner and take a crack at comedy while at the doctor’s office to lighten your physician’s mood. Better yet, send a funny doctor pun to a co-worker or friend that works in medicine. It doesn’t matter whether they’re an eye doctor or a surgeon. Either way, these doctor jokes are sure to elicit a smile.
The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then her nose and yelled again, “Ouch! That also hurts.” Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, “Even that hurts doc.”
One day, a man stumbled into his doctor’s office with a terrible cold. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didn’t help. When the man came back, the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn’t help either.
One day, a man walked into a doctor’s office and told the receptionist he had shingles. She took down his name, address, medical insurance number, and told him to have a seat.
A few minutes later, a nurse’s aid came out. She called his name, and asked him what he has while leading him to the examination room. He responded by saying, “Shingles,” and she told him to wait in the exam room.
1. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor said, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.” Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, “Doc, exactly what is my problem?” The doctor replied, “You’re not drinking enough water.”
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